Low Sexual Desire

Couples may experience a lull in their sex life. Experts and couples are talking publicly about low sexual desire.

Low sexual desire can be caused by many factors from hectic schedules and stressful jobs to medical and psychological conditions. On November 2, 2008, WCCO-TV News in Minneapolis interviewed a couple that has experienced this challenge along with sexual health experts, including Bean Robinson, PhD. After the segment aired, WCCO viewers were able to call and ask questions of PHS therapists, including Robinson, Eli Coleman, PhD, Brian Zamboni, PhD, Michelle van Ryn, PhD, MPH, Alex Iantaffi, PhD, Cesar Gonzalez, PhD, and Josh Silberstein, a medical student on PHS rotation.

The experts interviewed for the WCCO feature agree that when dealing with desire challenges the best place to start is to talk directly with your partner about your feelings, needs, and desires. Beyond that, Robinson shared one method that can help couples with low sexual desire or with desire discrepancy. Robinson’s method is called “It’s my week, it’s your week.” Robinson describes the strategy as follows, “Each partner gets to be ‘in charge of sex’ for alternating weeks.” She continues, “The partner whose week it is is charged with the responsibility of initiating and choreographing or orchestrating all aspects of sexual activity including but not limited to: time, place, ambience and atmosphere, type of music, light level, as well as the actual sexual foreplay and activities. The cooperating partner has the job of following their partner’s sexual leads in the best semblance of good cheer and cooperation they can muster up.”

Couples may experience several positive outcomes from experimenting with this strategy, including breaking established cycles of compromise and resentment, as well as a refined focus on sexual desire and preferences. Learn more about the benefits of Robinson’s method by reading “Whose Week Is It Anyhow?” (pdf format)

Robinson’s news story also aired in Chicago on CBS 2. If you are interested in getting answers to your sexual health concerns contact our offices for an appointment at 612-625-1500.